I grew up in Melrose, Massachusetts, a suburb just north of Boston, as the middle child between two brothers. My early life was shaped by both love and loss: my mother passed away from non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was seven years old, and by the time I was ten, my father had remarried. My stepmother was cold, difficult, and often abusive, so home never felt like the safe haven it should be. Instead, I grew up in survival mode, walking on eggshells and learning too young how someone else’s moods could dictate the tone of an entire household.
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I graduated from Melrose High in 1990 and attended Framingham State College. By my early twenties (after my father and stepmother divorced when I was 23), I was living in Boston in the Charlestown neighborhood in a really great apartment in a two family house with roommates who turned into great friends. I was working at a brewpub across from Fenway Park and trying to find my footing in adulthood with little support or direction. I carried a lot of baggage from marinating in trauma throughout my childhood, teen, and young adult years, and it showed up in poor coping skills, impulsivity, undiagnosed ADHD & PTSD, low self- esteem, and a fragile sense of self-worth.
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Restaurant life was chaotic and unsustainable, but it gave me friendships, discipline, resilience, and plenty of memories—along with a deep appreciation for always writing things down (yes, even a simple order like “2 Cokes,” I wrote it down). After several years, I knew it was time to move on, and in the booming job market of the late ’90s, I shifted into office work, eventually becoming a legal secretary.
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During this time working in the law office is when I met my husband. While working the regular, 9-5; Mon-Fri, job, I decided to get a second job on Saturday nights cocktail waitressing “down the alley” at a place called Sweetwater Cafe for something to do, to make a little extra money, and meet people. My husband, who is a few years younger than me and had just graduated from college, was one of the bouncers/door guys, and we started dating soon after I started working there.
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We married in 2005, and after living in Newton, MA and Amherst, MA, we moved to Philadelphia when he was offered the role of Athletic Director at Germantown Friends School. I began working there as well, in the lower school office, and discovered how much I loved being part of a school community. That experience put me on a new path.
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Our kids were both born in Philly. Our daughter was born in 2007 and our son in 2009. One month after our son’s birth, we moved back to Massachusetts, where I worked in admissions at a school for young people on the autism spectrum, and later as an administrative assistant in a public elementary school in Randolph, MA. That role was a perfect fit as it was a 10 month position so it allowed me to be on the same schedule as my kids, and I loved every part of it: the students, the teachers, the custodians, and the sense that I was helping to hold the school community together, even in ways both big and small. It gave me purpose and connection, and I still carry those memories with me and miss it greatly.
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In 2017, another opportunity came our way when my husband was offered the position of Dean of Athletics at a private school in Connecticut. We made the move, and it has been the best decision for our family. Our kids have thrived, we’ve built an incredible community of friends, and I’ve stayed involved in school life by working part-time there and volunteering with the Parents’ Association running their social media.
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Now, life here feels full and grounded. We share our home with two cats and the sweetest little dog. Now I stand strong in the road I have traveled to get here with all its struggles, heartache, loss, and pain, but also the lessons, growth, joys, and the greatest gift of all . . . our two amazing children!